I want to be beautiful

I want them to look at me with love in their eyes.
Look at me like they want me, want to be me.
Look at me as if they can't live without me, breathless.
I want you to look at me with lust in your eyes,
look at me like I am the only person alive who understands your pain.
look at me like I am the only person you could ever want,
like I am the last man on earth and you are the last woman.
Look at me like we have to rebuild civilization, like it's all you've ever wanted.
Like I am all you've ever wanted.
I want you to look at me with desire, with need, hunger, longing...
Look at me like the world is a cold oasis and I am the fire to keep you warm.
Like you're stranded on a sea of darkness and I am the Sun to bring you light.
Look at me like I look at you, for just a moment, and we'll fall in love.

Hi

Your words have their way with me.
I feel the flow fall from your soft subtle lips
Licking in my ears with their seductive tendrils
causing synapses sending signs to light fires
and the flames heat my skin flushing me red with lust
charging me electrically turning everything white and blue
with light my eyes lose focus, straining gazes at your face
smiling pretty knowing your lyrically spoken songs of
conversation take me completely and leave me
wanting more and more, kneeding and pleading from within
to reach out my unpleasantly begrimed hands so calloused
with the labors and undeserving to brush against your
heavenly ambrosial robe of skin. My deliciously flaunting Nymph
My Aphrodite, my Magdalena. So perfect a disaster
my heart crumbles in sadness and sorrow should so much as
a frown steal across your unfathomably fantastic face, If so much
as a solitary hateful tear should fall from your exquisitely radiant
eyes. Eyes so perceptive and piercing they cut through the darkest
walls to bring light, to find meaning, to bring mercy. I ask is it time to breath,
as every syllable spoken by you begs my breath to halt. Steals the wind from my lungs and freezes my heart should the beating be too loud and overcome the sweet sounds that emanate so eloquently from the verve of your breast. Lungless and heart-stilled I await your permission to continue my inner function to live another moment if only for you to bless me again with another short bout of dying just to be blessed with your idiom.

I don't believe I could ever survive, if in passing me, you rumored more than "Hi"

"lyrics" Ive got the time, I'll wait to see

Show me all your secrets and I'll tell you all my lies
Because from you, well I've got nothing left to hide.
I don't have much money but I can save my dimes
You know, for you, oh there is nothing I won't buy.

So will you come with me and be happy
Or will you keep walking the line
Oh girl, for you Ive got time
So will you come with me and be happy
Or are you just playing with me
Oh girl, for you I'll wait and see

If I kiss you on your lips would it offend you?
Because I'd love to give it a try
And if I tell you that Im in love with you
Will you walk away or stare in my eyes

While I sing
So will you come with me and be happy
Or will you keep walking the line
Hey girl, for you Ive got time
So will you come with me and be happy
Or are you just playing with me
Well girl, for you I'll wait to see




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone robot Igor. Me: "say hello Igor" Igor: "hebbdjbndkmjbs..."

Bandaids and Burn Cream

And in these dark times I feel the light consume me and bring forth an angel of destiny. Unfortunately however, my destiny seems to be forged in the fires of Insur Mount Abooldapreshon which lies between the Mountain ranges Aghorl Datilnever Lykeu Range and the Yugotta Bekiddonme Stretch. I've become So deft in embracing my lack of awareness that I continue to stick around long after the fires of chance and circumstance have burned out. Leaving me a humble but accountable friend. And recently I have been thinking a about it and I have come to the conclusion that I am not in love with the "girl" but with the feelings and joy that would come from the romance. I miss the feelings of wonder and excitement when I got to go home to someone waiting for me. When I had someone that soaked up my love and was happy in it. I want to be the world again. For a while, I was the entire universe and "She" was the sun that kissed me with light and warmth. She was the burning of desire and love. Now that she burnt out I am left overfilled with love and and overwhelming need to share it but there isn't another sun in sight and these matches keep burning my fingers.

Lose it or let it go...

I'm about to lose it, I can feel myself slipping. Like a wet rope in in a waterfall, it's about as good as nothing. I can't help myself from falling. I can't keep myself from sliding. Everything keeps getting to me and for too long it's just been piling. I can feel the tears as they well up behind my stone cold stubborn eyes. I can feel the garish shaking working in among my bones. I can sense the eyes upon wondering "what's wrong with that man?". And I know my time is coming, feel the pressure on my chest. I'm in a tree a mile up on branches far too thin to hold me, and I'm daring life to break it though the drop is long and daunting. And here she's haunting me, my spectre. My sweet serpent of the night. Lashing tongue so wicked cunning, almost convincing me to leap. All for not if her prescious treasure, her darling puppet shouldn't fall. So I'm standing tall defiant, hoping any end at all. Inside, the breaking. Hear a cracking in my lungs. And my breath becoming shallow in the mountain air so cold. I'm getting tired, slowing failing at my stand against the dark. And when I see her stand before me, arms spread out, I want her love. I want her holding, touching on me. I want her kisses on my lips. I want to give up every ounce of the person I once was. Lie and cheat myself to slavery, sell myself to her dirt cheap. But in the back of my mind I'm flailing grabbing abything to break this state. And I'm back to being lonely, feeling worthless, cold and lost. Can't somebody save me from my downward spiral spin? Can't someone stop the pain inside my clammy sweat filled skin? Is someone out there strong enough to help me find my way, or am I destined for the darkness constantly pulling me from within?!

I'll be here tomorrow, I won't give up. But I'm not strong enough to face this on my own and I need to hold a hand. I need love, trust, understanding and direction in my soul. Cause I'm affraid of waking up one day full of misery and old.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone robot Igor. Me: "say hello Igor" Igor: "hebbdjbndkmjbs..."

Of Feeling not Fleeting

This Is Still In progress:

I got a girlfriend and sometimes she will hang out with me.
I got a girlfriend that fell in love with me in a week.
I got a girlfriend that stole my heart with only a kiss.
I got a girlfriend then suddenly it turned in to this.
I had a girlfriend, but my girlfriend didn't seem to believe.
I had a girlfriend in a hurry just to get rid of me.
I had a girlfriend that said she loved me but it just wasn't true.
I had a girlfriend, for a minute there I thought it was you.

I can't believe your lies, my life became a manuscript. A movie that was written and directed by your politics. A story filled with nothing but the scraps from someone elses bullshit. Now everytime I think about you baby it just makes me sick. And never have I ever for a second thought I'd be this prick. A guy that sticks around and deals with all of someone elses shit. And when he doesn't get a damn thing in return for it, he sticks around and holds the hand of the bitch that started it.

I'm still sickeningly in love with my girlfriend..

Same love, different girlfriend.. Oh, and I am changing considerably as of late into a new and maybe improved self. I think I'm becoming more of an asshole, but less of a pussy. And a bit more sure of myself. I know what I want and I'm going to have it. I'm going to take it! It will be mine!

All I want you to do is be my love!

I an sickeningly in love with by girlfriend..


That's all..